"Goon" Lamentation

There once was a movie called Goon

That came to theaters one week after the new moon

Only a girl was caught in lament

Over this bogus and unexpected event

No theater in town was showing the flick

She then assumed all the theater owners were dicks

She searched far and wide for a venue

But no theater had Goon on the menu

After waiting two years for all the violence and cheers

And cajoling the writer with various jeers

And chewing off every single one of her nails

And watching every trailer that on the internet prevails

The show did not play

In Peoria, as they say

So the girl got kind of pissed

For it was Goon she did miss

And she threw on a hockey mask

And set out to accomplish her task

Carrying a big blade

She kept to the shade

And spent the rest of the day

Counting bodies from the fray

The theater owners all dead

The girl had made bloody pulp of their heads

They should not have ignored

This new flick she adored

And by not choosing Goon

They had sealed their doom.

So before you reject

Or choose any film to neglect

It might first be wise

To write your Will in case of demise

For the girl is still lurking

In dark theaters she’s searching

With a hockey mask on her face

And a blade secure just in case.

For Nobody.